We’ve done it again…

We are pregnant…again.  Against all odds the planets aligned and we are starting another journey.

From the beginning of this time around I’ve been hesitant.  Not that I didn’t want to do it but I just didn’t “feel” it.  Then we had the ultra sound to check and see if we had any ripe folicles.  Well we did and I didn’t need a trigger shot for the folicles to release the eggs.  Which was great!  But hold on folks…this was all on my left side.  The side they thought the tube would be blocked.  The nurse stopped and had the doctor review it.  She wanted to let us know there was a 4% chance that we would get pregnant because it was on the left “possibly blocked” side.  She said that if we wanted to we could go forward with the insemination tomorrow and cross our fingers or just try “naturally” and if we had to wait for another round.  I wanted to give it a shot.  I knew that I didn’t come all this far to chose to stop.  So we said let’s go for it!

March 30th was our insemination.  Yes, if all works out I will know the exact date of conception of my baby and I’m okay with that   Everything went according to plan.  No crappy Christmas music this time.  Jas was playing me some good tunes on the iphone !  And then comes the wait.  2 weeks after is when you can have a blood test taken to measure your HCG levels.  Working up to that date I still didn’t “feel” it.  Nothing felt the same as last time and I felt good.  Mentally I prepared myself for a negative result.  I had to especially with that 4% number hanging around.  All I could do was keep calm.

I went in on April 13th to have my blood drawn.  The office was running behind and it was just adding to my “off” feeling.  Finally I was up.  They took me back and went for the usual arm.  No luck.  She turned the needle around for what seemed like 5 minutes…ugh.  I finally said she could try the other arm if she’d like.  She went in to the other arm again searching around…and finally found a vein.  Now the big wait.  Luckily it was super busy at work so I really didn’t need much of a distraction beyond work.  Usually they call between 11 and 12.  I kept looking at my phone…nothing.  I was thinking if they didn’t  call by 2 I would call them so we don’t have a repeat of last time.  Finally my phone rang.  It was the nurse and she didn’t sound upbeat at all.  Then she said “We got a positive”…  What?  What?  I think that is exactly what I said.  I just could not believe it.  Then I said “Wait…what are the number?”  She said 147…whew!  Last time 2 weeks after conception I was only at 53 which cause concern.  This time everything. look. good.  And I could breathe!  I called Jason right after.  I think I could hear him exhaling too.  I loved that call.  It’s what we needed…

So I am 4 weeks and 3 days along today.  I feel great.  I gave up coffee on that was hard on me for the first day.  Now besides getting a bit sleepy, it’s all so different than last time.  Which is promising to me.  I’m trying to just stay in the now.  It’s hard at this point not to get ahead of myself but I am centered…and now I can “feel” it.  I know that no one is reading this right now but when you do…thank you.  Thank you for all your kind words you said to us, your positive thoughts and most of all your prayers.  It’s what got me to come full circle and put us in a better place.

Our 7 week ultrasound is scheduled for May 4th.  Until then I’m just going to enjoy where we are and breathe 

“Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle” Elizabeth David